A Stolen Love
by dixio
Summary: COMPLETE! My enemy's enemy is my... lover? The tale of Severus Snape's abiding love for Lily Evans, and how it came to change the world. SSLE, but only barely... for you see, he didn't get the girl in the end.
1. Act I

This story started out as a rewriting of "Snape's Worst Memory" from Snape's point of view, and spiralled into much more. It is told in three acts. The first covers years one through four. The second covers year five -the most important year, if you will. The third covers year six, year seven, and two separate years some time afterward. I will post a new act every week. All three have already been written, though they can be subject to change.

**Summary: **My enemy's enemy is my... lover? The tale of Severus Snape's abiding love for Lily Evans, and how it came to change the world. SSLE, but only barely... for you see, he didn't get the girl in the end.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters in this story. Pity, eh?

Please review! I loved constructive critisism, but flames will be ignored.

* * *

A Stolen Love

In his first year, Severus met her.

"Welcome to First Year Potions," Slughorn said jauntily. "Now, many of you may be at first intimidated by the intricacies of the art of Potion Brewing, but, with strong perseverance–" He was interrupted by the door of the potions room, which burst open.

A skinny girl with long red hair braided messily down her back was standing there, looking mortified as the entire class turned to stare at her.

"Sorry, Professor," she said hesitantly. "I… I got lost…"

Slughorn waved that aside, "Oh, well, first day of class… I'll forgive you of it this time, Miss…?"

"Evans," she said, a bit more boldly. "Lily Evans."

"…Miss Evans," Slughorn concluded. "Now, please take your seat! And no talking, please!" he reminded the rest of the class, glancing around at Potter and Black, who were whispering to one another.

Potter and Black… Severus hated them already, especially Potter, who was so cocky, and this only the first week of class! Already he was strutting around as if he owned the place, accompanied by Sirius Black, (who, according to all of his cousins in Slytherin, was a blood-traitor and all-around arsehole who had caused his poor mother endless grief by not being sorted into Slytherin as he was supposed to,) that pale boy, (what was his name again? Loopy, or something?) and the short, chubby Peter Pettigrew.

Severus hated the lot of them. On the very first day of term, James Potter had jinxed him for glancing his way in the hallway.

"Keep your eyes to yourself, _Snivellus!_" Potter had shouted, (Severus assumed he had come up with the nickname impulsively,) whipping out his wand and attempting to hurl a jinx while Black barked out a laugh and Loopy frowned mildly.

Of course, Severus had retaliated; he hadn't been about to let some stuck-up arsehole push him around! But Potter had Black at his side, and Loopy, (though Loopy just stood by and watched interestedly,) and soon they had left Severus in the hallway, his face covered in oozing pustules and his fingernails growing uncontrollably.

_I'll get you, Potter,_ Severus remembered having thought as he made his way toward the hospital wing, trying to avoid the eyes of all of the people who insisted on staring at him. He had tried, several times now, to get Potter back for what he had done, but every time a teacher had walked by, or else Potter had repelled his curses.

Lily Evans had come to sit beside Severus, that being the only remaining chair in the classroom. "Could I sit here?" she asked clearly, looking at him with her bright green eyes.

Severus stared at her eyes for a moment. They were so very _green_. "Go ahead," he replied offhandedly, moving his bag out of the way so that she could put down her own.

Potions class proved to be quite enjoyable. Severus found that he had a natural talent for the art, and that the manner in which ingredients were combined was, in fact, highly intuitive. Several weeks later, glancing at the list of ingredients needed for the day's potion, Severus smiled as he recognised the patterns that emerged among the differing plants and essences.

This was why he was shocked when the instructions on the board suggested that the brewer stir his potion for three minutes before adding ground Murtlap in small doses; a large dash of Murtlap at the beginning would, logically, have the same effect.

Severus shrugged and added his dash of Murtlap. Instantly, his potion turned the desired shade of yellow.

"How did you do that?" Lily Evans demanded pleasantly, her head jerking over from her own potion as she saw his emit a large puff of sweet-smelling steam.

Severus turned to look at her. "Well… you don't really _need_ to stir it for three minutes, Evans… I mean, _think_ about it…"

She did. She frowned at him, and then at the list of ingredients, and then back at him.

"The whole point of the Murtlap is to counteract the dried spiders," he prodded.

Lily's mouth opened in surprise as the logic hit her. "Of course… so, extending the addition process isn't necessary, 'cause it won't affect any of the other ingredients regardless of when you mix it in!"

Severus nodded. "Exactly."

Lily grinned. "Cool. Thanks, Severus."

He smiled at her. "Any time."

Soon, Lily was drawing her own conclusions regarding the order in which ingredients were added to potions, aided by Severus when she got stuck. The two were soon Slughorn's favourite pupils, and their potions expertise constantly impressed him.

"Mr. Snape… Miss Evans… fantastic work, once again!" he remarked one afternoon as he made his way from table to table, prodding people's potions with his wand or else ladling small amount up to examine. "I must say, this really is the most talented table in the classroom!"

Severus smirked slightly as he caught sight of Potter, who was glaring at him from across the room, and of Black, who was giving him a rude hand gesture.

-

In his second year, Severus appreciated her.

"Leave him alone, Potter!" Lily shouted, as Potter fired a hex at Severus on the way down to dinner.

"Oh, shut up, Evans!" Potter retorted, ducking as Severus sent another spell back at him.

She stamped her foot angrily. "Leave him alone, Potter! He didn't do anything to you!"

Potter shot another spell at Severus and said, "I never said he did! Now nose out, Evans, or I'll hex you, too!"

Black laughed. "You'd best listen to him, Evans," he called. "He hexed a first year this morning who got in the way, and I reckon the chap's _still_ up in the hospital wing!"

Lily turned to glare at Black. "He wouldn't _dare_ hex me, Black!" she snapped.

"Lily… Lily, let's just _go_," one of her friends prodded, tugging at her arm. "C'mon… let's just leave them to it…"

Lily frowned at her friend. "No, I'm sick of–" but just then Professor Dumbledore came sweeping up the staircase behind them.

"Not fighting in the hallways, boys?" he remarked mildly. Potter lowered his wand quickly, and Severus got to his feet, scowling.

"Oh, of _course_ not, Professor!" said Potter cheerfully.

Severus glared at him, wishing he could tackle him right there.

"Good. Don't start, then," Dumbledore said, and Potter and his cronies had no choice but to go on their way. Severus narrowed his eyes after them, fighting the strong desire to send a really harsh dark curse at Potter… and Black, too; he deserved it nearly as much…

He turned to face Lily, who was watching him. "You didn't need to get involved," he stammered, trying to steady his voice. "I can handle him on my own, I don't need _you_…"

"I'm sorry, Severus," Lily said quietly from where she was standing, her friend still clutching her arm. "It's just… Potter deserves to burn in hell, he really does…"

Severus smiled slightly. Everywhere he went, it seemed, people were talking about Potter and his stupid quartet, and most all of them were talking about how funny they were, and cool they were, and how entertaining it was to have them in class. The Slytherins disliked them, of course, but that wasn't so much because they were jerks as because they were Gryffindors. But here was Lily Evans, one of Potter's fellow Gryffindors, plainly stating that Potter was an arsehole. Severus had never appreciated any opinion more in his life.

-

In his third year, Severus helped her.

"I don't understand this at _all_," Lily observed wryly in Arithmancy one afternoon. Severus, who was seated a few tables over, looked up. Professor Vector had left the classroom momentarily, leaving the students to complete rune translations.

"I'll help you, Evans," piped up James Potter, who was sitting with Black and Lupin at a table behind her.

Lily turned around to frown at him. "Thanks, but I'd rather not spend the next hour having you make me feel inferiour."

Potter gave an exaggeratedly affronted gasp. "What? Evans, how _dare _you? I most certainly will _not_ make you feel inferiour!"

Lily gave him a scathing look and turned back to her parchment; Potter looked at the back of her head distractedly. "Evans… c'mon… let me help you," he prodded. Then he smiled slyly. "Say… how about you come to Hogsmeade with me next weekend, and we can discuss it there?"

She did not even turn around; she just shook her head.

Black laughed. "Aw, give up already, Prongs," he said. Potter gave a forced laugh, but then frowned and continued to stare at the back of Lily's head. Black and Lupin glanced at one another and fought hard not to chuckle.

Severus sneered at Potter despite himself. The ridiculous, hormone-driven prat… as if he, of _all_ people, had any chance with Lily Evans! A new idea formed in his mind, a fabulous in-your-face that he felt sure he could accomplish. Turning back to his own parchment, Severus put the finishing touches on his own Arithmancy work and coughed slightly.

"Er… Evans," he said delicately, "not to bother you, only I've finished my work and thought… I mean… if you needed _help…_" He turned to glare at Potter as he did this. Potter had opened his mouth in shock and turned to sneer at Severus.

Lily turned, too. "Oh, that's very kind of you, Snape," she said (she no longer called him Severus; the ingrained amount of anti-Slytherin sentiment that was programmed into all Gryffindors had finally taken a small amount of hold, with the result that Lily no longer called Slytherins by their first names).

Now, Potter turned to stare incredulously at her. "What? _Evans! _Don't get help from him, the lying scumbag! I doubt he understands it, anyway… and besides, I doubt he can teach for shi–"

"I'd rather he tutor me than you," Lily interrupted coolly.

The door to the classroom opened and Professor Vector swept back in. "Is everybody still doing all right? Does anybody need assistance?"

Lily now gave Severus a thankful smile, ignoring Potter completely. "Thanks so much for the offer, but I can just ask Vector now," she said pleasantly.

"No problem," Severus replied briskly, smirking to himself at the look on Potter's face.

After class, Lily escaped Potter's harassment by darting out of the door to find her friends, who were coming down from Divination. Severus spotted her as she hurried past, her red hair, which was cut in a straight line at her shoulders, flipping behind her. Suddenly, she turned and faced him.

"Oh, Snape, by the way," she said quickly, "thanks so much for helping me out with Potter; I'll never quite forget that look on his face!"

Severus smiled at her tolerantly. "Don't mention it," he replied mildly, and she flashed him a grateful smile before hurrying on her way.

-

In his fourth year, Severus liked her.

"Ah, my two aspiring potions masters!" Slughorn exclaimed exaggeratedly as Lily joined the Slug Club members currently seated around the table in Slughorn's office, Severus following hesitantly behind her.

Glancing around at the students at his sides, Severus felt a growing sense of disgust. There was scarcely a person here for whom he did not harbour rancour. With the lone exception of Regulus Black, (Sirius's twelve-year-old brother, who, excluding their similar good looks, could not have been more different from him,) nobody was even from Slytherin.

"We're still waiting for more people to arrive," Slughorn said pointedly, noticing Severus's countenance. Severus nodded slightly; Regulus Black winked at him.

Sirius Black entered the room with a bang of the door, followed by a pretty Hufflepuff girl who was clutching his hand rather possessively. Regulus gave Sirius a smile, but the older Black acted as if the younger did not exist. Turning toward Severus, Regulus shrugged and frowned unconcernedly; he was, by this point, used to being ignored by his brother.

Several more Slytherins followed next, and Severus was pleased to see them, despite the fact that none were in his year.

He thought back to the day before, when he had been the only student in Potions to successfully complete the day's complicated assignment. Slughorn was making his way from table to table, ladling up bits of potion for examination. He held his nose at a chunky one that gave off a sulfurous smell, and frowned deeply at one that was bright turquoise and bubbling as if carbonated.

"True, that one was a bit more difficult than what we're used to, but _really, _with all of you Slytherins… I must admit I did _hope–_" Slughorn stopped triumphantly when he spotted Severus's cauldron, which was hissing appropriately.

"Ah-ha!" Slughorn exclaimed. "Now, here is the real work of a master! Twenty points to Slytherin, and full marks to you, Snape!"

A bell tolled throughout the castle, signaling the end of class. "Severus!" Slughorn called as Severus shoved his books back into his bag and began to sling it over his shoulder. He turned around.

"Yes, Professor?"

Slughorn smiled. "I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to come tomorrow afternoon for a spot of afternoon tea… just a few of us, you understand… the _Slug Club_, if you will…"

Severus smiled as well, happy to be included in such an elite society. "I'd love to, Professor," he said honestly.

But now he found himself appalled at some of the people Slughorn admitted into his group… Sirius Black, for one thing! Did Slughorn honestly think that that sadistic arsehole had potential?

Lily Evans was chatting comfortably with a seventh-year Ravenclaw girl as she raked her hair back with her hands into a ponytail. Severus watched her for a few moments, enjoying the sight of her long auburn hair and the way it caught the light.

_I must really be bored_, he thought idly.

"What the bloody hell is _Snivellus _doing here?" Black whispered loudly to the pretty Hufflepuff girl, who burst into giggles.

"Now, now, Sirius, let's not be harsh!" Slughorn said cheerfully, waving his wand so that a large plate of scones and a kettle appeared on the table. "Now, I'll be right back–" He stood up and waddled across the room, clearly looking for something.

Black rolled his eyes, causing the girl to giggle more loudly, and flicked Severus off across the table. Severus narrowed his eyes at him, determined not to give in – not with a teacher here, anyway.

"Hey, _Snivellus_," Black hissed. "Careful you don't get that greasy hair in the tea; we don't want to lose our appetites, now."

The Hufflepuff girl and several others laughed openly. Severus sneered at him and was about to reach for his wand when Lily Evans grabbed his wrist. "Don't sink to his level," she said coolly, before turning to face Black. "Oh, shut your face, Black; the least you could do is come of with some new insults," she snapped.

Black swept his hair out of his eyes and gave her a polite smile. "I feel sorry for you, Evans; you're sitting next to him, you're probably suffering a huge appetite loss already…"

The Hufflepuff girl shook with silent laughter; Lily's green eyes flashed. She opened her mouth as if to say something but then rolled her eyes as if Black were so far below her that he did not deserve consideration. "Mmm-hmm… yeah, of course, Black," she replied offhandedly, turning back to the Ravenclaw girl. "Mmm-hmm, that's right, sitting next to somebody just makes me _lose _my _appetite_…" She gave a derisive laugh. "Damn, and I there I was thinking you were _smart_…"

Black opened his mouth to make a retort, but seemed incapable of coming up with an appropriate one. At last he gave a very forced laugh and said, "Silly you." Lily, however, simply gave him an exaggerated look of confusion before shaking her head in mock pity. Black scowled slightly despite himself, glaring at Severus again, who pointedly ignored him.

He ran his fingers through his hair idly as Slughorn returned bearing a letter he had received from some influential ex-Slug Club member. Severus's hair felt somewhat stiff and greasy, not that he could help it: he showered nearly every day, and had long ago given up using conditioner, but the fact remained that he had overactive oil glands. There was virtually nothing he could do about it.

Meanwhile, Sirius Black was chewing on a cranberry scone and frowning, trying to decide where he'd gone wrong. The pretty Hufflepuff girl was not longer holding onto him possessively; on the contrary, she seemed to have grown bored of his attitude and had taken up chatting with the boy on her left.

Lily Evans was reaching across the table for the platter of scones. "Scone, Snape?" she offered pleasantly, holding the plate toward him.

"Thank you, Evans," he muttered, taking one for himself. She really was a nice girl, that Evans… and she took on Potter and Black and all of their stupid friends so efficiently… Severus decided, right then and there, that it didn't matter that she was in Gryffindor. As he saw it, she kicked arse at Potions, she could stand up to prats, and she was, after all, in the Slug Club; she must have potential. In Severus's book, she was okay.

* * *

The first sentence of the next act: 

_In his fifth year, Severus loved her._


	2. Act II

Sorry it's been a bit more than a week; I was down in Salamanca visiting my cousins and all they have is dial-up. (Besides, the hard copy of this story is on my computer up here in Gijon.) This coming week we're going back to England, but hopefully I'll get Act III uploaded on time, anyway.

Thanks so much to my reviewers! I'm glad you like the story; keep reading and reviewing:)

So, without further ado...

* * *

In his fifth year, Severus loved her. 

He had thus far had no romantic attachments at Hogwarts – not that any girls were mildly attracted to him, anyway – and he had lately been feeling very… restless. In Arithmancy one morning, he watched Lily Evans enter the room, no longer the skinny first-year she had once been but now a slim teenager. Her long red hair hung to her shoulders, and her green eyes were as bright as ever. Severus felt a burst of lust somewhere below his stomach as he watched her casually take her seat and swiftly turn down Potter, who had just asked her out for the umpteenth time.

_She's Muggle-born_, he reminded himself abruptly. _I'm in Slytherin, and she's Muggle-born… it's not possible, it can't be…_

_But it is_, a smaller part of him piped up. _After all, she's the smartest witch in her year, even if she _is_ Muggle-born… doesn't that count for something?_ And then, _Does purity of blood really matter?_

_Of course it does!_ Severus reminded himself abruptly. _I am the Half-Blood Prince! What would I be if not that? Of course it matters, it has _always _mattered, people wouldn't be half they could be without their families… family is important, it always has been… it _defines _us._

_What about people who resist their families? _that smaller part of him persisted. _What about Sirius Black, for example?_

_Look what's happened to him! He's an all-around prat and arrogant arsehole!_

_But he's pure-blood!_

Severus's greater half seemed to frown in contemplation. _Perhaps… perhaps Muggle-borns _can_ be just as great as pure-bloods… but blood should still count for something, shouldn't it?_

_Yes, it should._

His inner turmoil resolved, Severus sat back to watch Lily Evans, who had pulled out her work now and was looking over it briefly. _Muggle-borns can be just as great as pure-bloods, but blood still counts for something._ That was a perfect philosophy, he thought wryly. Those from royally ancient families were not necessarily above the others in the long run, but they still deserved the advantage of their heritage. Why shouldn't he, then, court Lily Evans?

_As if she'd go for you!_ a furious voice in his head shouted. _Don't start dreaming, Severus!_

It was true, he thought miserably… or was it? After all, she hated James Potter with a passion… couldn't she possibly love the enemy of James Potter with an equal passion? _My enemy's enemy is my… lover?_

_Stop it; it's _not_ going to work out_, his conscious pestered, and it would have rolled its eyes had it had any.

And Snape accepted this fact, for the moment. But something changed in that moment: he was no longer remotely comfortable around Lily Evans. It was a combination of immaturity around girls and insecurity in general. That very day in the hall, Lily spoke up in his defense when Potter tried to hex him. A teacher soon arrived, and Severus stalked off with boils on his arms, Lily hurrying after him.

"I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to hex him back," she said, in an attempt at humour.

Severus turned to look at her, clutching his arms, as they were beginning to sting quite painfully. Her greens eyes were wide in sympathy, and her soft hair hung just over her shoulders in two bunches. "I–" Severus began, but found himself at a loss for words. "I don't need your help, _Mudblood_," he snapped, turning and hurrying away.

Lily gasped as if slapped, and Severus felt himself groan inwardly: he had honestly not intended to hurt her feelings; he was just immature in the ways of flirting, and could not help but insult the object of his desire. Really, he was a like a ten-year-old when it came to male-female interactions.

It didn't stop her from helping him, though, and every time she supported him against Potter despite his unrestrained rudeness, he convinced himself that it was because she _knew _that he wasn't serious. She was flirting back, in her own way, he told himself at night when he lay in his four-poster with his hand between his legs. She did not mind if he pretended to be mean to her; she wanted to support him no matter what. Deep down. Severus felt, she loved him as much as he loved her.

In the meantime, he wanted to find out where Potter and his little gang were sneaking around to every month; if it was something illegal… ooh, he would have their arses expelled faster than they could apologise for their crap treatment of him over the last four and a half years! One evening he overheard Black chatting with Pettigrew in the foyer.

"…Stupid Snivellus; if he just realised all he has to do is prod that one big knob on the Womping Willow with a stick to go down after Moony…"

Severus did not let on that he had heard; no, that would have given the game away. He was nearly frantic with the excitement that Black had let this information slip. He was so overwhelmed that he did not for a moment consider that Black had done so intentionally.

Later that night he was outside on the grounds, finding a long stick, prodding various knots on the Womping Willow, and barely sustaining a triumphant laugh as the tree suddenly froze. In a flash he was sliding inside, finding himself in a long, uneven passageway, running down it, nearly tripping –

He heard hurried footsteps come up behind him, and turning saw Potter, sprinting and out of breath, rounding the bend and reaching for him. "Sniv – _Snape!_ Don't – Moony – you can't – STOP!_"_ He grabbed Severus's arm and tried to yank him back, but Severus was not to be beaten by James Potter.

"Let go of me, Potter!" he shouted, hitting him with both hands and dragging him along in an attempt to get away.

A sudden sound came from the end of the tunnel, and turning, Severus caught sight of the last thing he had expected: a werewolf, leaping out of a trap door and onto the dirt floor. Barely ten metres away, a werewolf. Lupin.

He was frozen in fear for a moment, realising in a jolt that Black had just been having him on, had tricked him into coming here in the hope that he would be killed –

Potter, however, had not frozen up, and he yanked Severus with him, faster than either of them had ever run before, back up the crooked tunnel and out of the Womping Willow while a werewolf howled at their heels.

Far later that night, after Dumbledore had forbidden Severus from telling anybody what he had seen, and after Black had nearly been expelled for his actions, Severus sat down on his bed, limp with fury. _That goddamn Potter, that goddamn Black, that goddamn Lupin, that goddamn Pettigrew_… the four of them, thinking they had any right to kill him, any right to fucking _end his life_. And that accursed Potter, chickening out at his own game, coming to "rescue" Severus and leaving him in his fucking _debt._

It was the worst night of Severus's life.

The worst experience of his life thus far, however, was soon to come. It arrived in the afternoon following their last O.W.L., Defense Against the Dark Arts.

He had been down on the lawn, reviewing his test paper feverishly, kicking himself inwardly whenever he realised that he had not said as much as he could have on certain questions. Potter and Black noticed him at once; Severus whipped out his wand, preparing to defend himself against the no-good attempted murderers, but after a brief scirmish Potter had him upside down in the air, trapped by his _own bloody spell_. Lily Evans, who he had seen earlier sitting by the lake, had stormed over to them and now continued her chastising.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. Potter and Black eyed it warily. Severus tried not to look at her; she was so pretty when she got riled up, and he did not want any of them to notice if he started staring at her.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said Potter earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

Potter sighed deeply, then turned to Severus and muttered the countercurse.

"There you go," he said, as Severus struggled to his feet again, "you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus – "

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" The words were out before he could help himself. But then, that was the way it always was: Severus was too insecure about girls, and the only way for him to comfortably interact with them was by acting indifferent. It was a façade he got caught up in and was virtually incapable of breaking.

Lily blinked, "Fine," she said coolly, "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

Severus felt a surge of sorrow deep in the pit of his stomach. Why had she said that? Did she really, honestly believe that he loathed her? Couldn't she tell that he wasn't serious; that when he called her "Mudblood," it was only because he was not confident enough to say anything else? Worse – did she hate him for it?

"Apologise to Evans!" Potter roared at Severus, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

Snape sneered at Potter. As if he could possibly apologise! The only way he could manage it would be to sound ridiculously sarcastic; he wasn't secure enough to do it any other way… if he were too sincere, what would Lily think? Would she realise, finally, what Severus had been unable to confess to her for so long?

But of course he would not apologise, even if he could; as if he would give that blasted Potter the satisfaction of ordering him around!

"I don't want _you _to make him apologise," Lily shouted, rounding on Potter. "You're as bad as he is …" Severus was insulted, but at the same time strangely elated. _Take that, Potter!_ he though vindictively. _If I can't have her, at least you can't, either!_

"What?" yelped Potter. "I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

Severus barely stifled a triumphant smile.

Lily turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" Potter shouted after her, "Hey, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

_Fuck you, Potter_, Severus thought desperately. _Fuck you. _He shifted his eyes slightly to watch Lily storm away across the lawn, her thickauburn hair swishing behind her.

"What is it with her?" said Potter, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

_What do you think, dipshit?_ Severus thought derisively. _Maybe she knows that you're a conceited arsehole who – _

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Black, interrupting Severus's reverie.

"Right," said Potter, who looked furious now, "right – "

There was another flash of light, and Severus was once again hanging upside down in the air.

_What the fuck? _Severus thought. _Using my own spells against me, yet again? The filthy, cowardly, pathetic –_

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

Severus paled. _No, they wouldn't… that was going beyond vindictive; that was pure cruelty!_ he thought desperately. But then… these were people who had attempted to murder him… on second thought, he certainly wouldn't put mere embarrassment past them…

His thoughts shifted to Lily. What would she think, what would her reaction be if she turned around halfway up the lawn to see him, pant-less in midair?

It looked as if Severus were about to find out. Potter gave a flick of his wand and he felt a slight breeze _down there_ as people all around him gave cries of protest – but not with regard to protecting Severus's feeling; oh, no, they just _didn't want to see him naked, for the love of God!_

"Take pity on our eyes, James!"

"Ah! James, you think we want to _see _that?"

Black was laughing, Pettigrew was giggling, and Potter was smirking triumphantly. Severus glared at them from where he hung, upside down and completely helpless. _Burn in hell, Potter_, he thought quietly.

He could feel his face turning red as all the blood rushed downward. Then Lupin stood up and came over to his friends.

Severus hated Lupin. He always put up a sort of fake effort to make his friends stop their harassment of others, but if he had _really_ wanted to act like a good person, Severus had always figured, he wouldn't hang around with jerks like Black and Potter in the first place. Also, there was the fact that Lupin had nearly turned Severus into a werewolf. Oh, he hated him, alright.

"Let him down, Prongs," Lupin pestered airily, avoiding looking at Severus too closely. "Come on… teacher's going to be coming down soon…"

Potter smiled at Lupin pleasantly and turned back to Severus. All around, people were covering their eyes exaggeratedly or else gawking openly. Severus wished this were a dream… or, rather, a nightmare. Glancing around wildly, he was relieved, at the very least, that Lily Evans was nowhere in sight.

"Well, I'd say this is enough for now, Snivelly," said Potter jovially. With another flick of his wand, Severus fell to the ground, face-first. As he struggled to pull his robes down, he heard Potter mutter a full body-bind curse. So… they'd just leave him to lie here helplessly, would they, while they all went up to the castle and had dinner?

"See you around, Snivelly!" Black called harshly, turning away from Severus's frozen form to put his arm around some girl, who was laughing so hard her face was beginning to turn red.

_The bitch_, Snape thought to himself.

Now they were leaving, up along the lawn, Potter and Black and Lupin and Pettigrew and the laughing girl, and others were following them, eager to relax and have a lovely end-of-exams feast.

Severus watched them, following them with his eyes. He truly hated Potter, and all of his cockiness and popularity and blatant, unmistakable cruelty. He hated Black and Pettigrew and Lupin and the laughing girl, and everyone else who was now making their way up to the Great Hall.

"In a bit of a spot, Sev?" he heard a voice say, and glanced to the right to find Bellatrix Black, Sirius Black's older cousin, standing over him with her friend Rosalind Douglass.

As he was still under the effects of the body-bind curse, Severus could not utter a response.

Bellatrix muttered the countercurse and helped him to his feet.

"My cousin is an arsehole," she said darkly. "He and all of his damn friends."

Severus smiled shakily. Bella was a kind girl – to her, admittance into Slytherin qualified a person as worthy of friendship – and very pretty, but Severus always felt a bit left out around her, for he knew that she did not _really_ consider him to be anything more than a classmate.

"Don't stress over Potter, Severus," Rosalind, a stockier girl with a strong jaw and curly dark hair, assured him calmly. "He'll get what's coming to him, you mark my words."

Then they were off across the darkening lawn toward the castle, Severus trailing a little bit behind, and dreading the hundreds of eyes that would await him upon their entrance of the Great Hall.

About half of the school looked over, but it was Lily Evans who caught Severus's eye, her own green eyes awash with pity for him. He sneered at her despite himself, persisting with that indestructible façade. Lily looked away quickly.

_I love you,_ Severus thought desperately, _and you know it._ But at this point, he wasn't sure if she really did.

* * *

Dialogue (in that last part) taken from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," British version, pg. something to something (I don't have the book with me right now and I don't feel like checking). 

The first line of Act III:

_In his sixth year, Severus kissed her._


	3. Act III

Thank you so much for all of the reviews! Every time I got a new one, it made my day. I am SO happy that you guys like the story! Please keep reviewing...

Onward, then:

* * *

In his sixth year, Severus kissed her. 

N.E.W.T. Potions class was far more tedious than Severus had expected. Nearly every recipe he found in his book was flawed; nearly every list of ingredients should have been altered. Deciding that he would be damned if he was going to take instructions from the stupid text alone, Severus began following his intuition more than ever when it came to brewing the potions. He crossed out lines in his book, and wrote in new ones. Here, also, he wrote spells he was working on, crossing out letters and rewriting them until an incantation was perfect.

Lily Evans was in his N.E.W.T. class, as were James Potter and Sirius Black. Whenever the two boys did less than exemplary on the day's assignment, (which was often,) Severus smirked to himself and took special pride when Slughorn praised his potion above all the others.

Lily was another story. Ever since her first year, when Severus had prodded her along in the art of intuitive brewing, she had been relying on her mind more and more. At this point, she came to realise nearly as much as he did the number of flaws inherent in the recipes provided by the book, and was soon making as many creative changes as Severus himself. For the sixth year straight, the two of them were Slughorn's favourite students.

Slughorn liked Lily more than Severus, though, and Severus knew it. It was because Lily was cheekier and sharper when it came to Slughorn's comments and complements; Severus, on the other hand, just smiled.

"You _really_ should be in Slytherin, Miss Evans," Slughorn remarked fondly one afternoon, after Lily had demonstrated a perfect completion of the day's potion. "You would be an invaluable addition to the house."

Lily smiled tolerantly at him. "Well, I don't see that happening… unless you want to go challenge Professor McGonagall and the Sorting Hat to a duel over my rightful place."

Slughorn laughed. "That's the spirit, Lily, that's the spirit… stand up for your house, I say… ten points to Gryffindor for sheer cheek…"

Every time Lily stood up to Slughorn or brushed aside his complements airily, Severus fell more and more in love with her. How was it that she could be so calm, so collected with authority? Severus shuddered, thinking of this past summer at home, where his father, who already yelled at and abused his mother, and begun hitting Severus more than usual, too. If only he could stand up to his father… but no, he couldn't. Not that it mattered anymore, though; he would be leaving this summer, now that he was of age, and if Tobias Snape came after him all he had to do now was curse him to hell and back. (Why his mother hadn't done this yet was something Severus could not fathom.)

Authority in general troubled Severus. He was not comfortable around those who were stronger than he was; this was why many of the teachers did not favour him as much of they would have had he been a bit bolder in class. What Severus really wanted was to have the power himself; then he wouldn't need to worry about being cowed, he could be the one doing the bullying!

He knew about Voldemort and all of that pure-blood business, but he wasn't yet sure if he had it in him to turn to the so-called "Dark Side," regardless of the power trip that would be involved. For one thing, his love for Lily Evans was too strong. Whenever Severus overheard his fellow Slytherins whispering about the Dark Lord and his followers, and whether or not they were planning on joining him, Severus thought about Lily Evans in conjunction with the fact that, if he ever became a Death Eater, he would have to accept a philosophy that completely denounced her.

Severus held onto the belief that he had come to that day in fifth year: _Muggle-borns can be just as great as pure-bloods, but blood still counts for something_. He was not ready to sacrifice his ideology just yet.

One morning, following the ringing of the bell and subsequent end of Potions class, Slughorn swept from the room for a conference with Dumbledore, leaving the students to finish cleaning up and get on their ways to lunch alone.

"Hey, Evans… care to come eat lunch with us?" James Potter put in smoothly as he strolled past her on his way out of the room.

She glared at him as she mopped up spilled armadillo bile. "No, thank you, Potter," she replied curtly.

Potter smiled easily. "Well… want to go out with me, then?"

She shook her head and turned back to her table. "No, I don't believe I do."

Potter frowned slightly. "Well, keep thinking about it…" He turned to Black, who had finished cleaning up his own potion and was now waiting for him. "I say, Padfoot, why don't we head upstairs?"

"Brilliant suggestion, Prongs. I'm impressed," Black agreed; he gave Lily a curt nod and followed Potter out of the room.

Severus, who had been watching them out of the corner of his eye, began to put away his unused potion ingredients again. The remaining three students in class soon left, and he and Lily were the only ones in the room, Lily still sponging her armadillo bile distractedly.

Severus took his time putting away the ingredients. He was hoping Lily would come over and accompany him to the Great Hall if they finished cleaning up at the same time; it would do a lot toward helping spur the fantasy that she liked him along.

Lily picked up the sponge, now sopping with armadillo bile, and reached for her wand, meaning to clean it instantly. In that moment, she fumbled the sponge, dropping it into her still-filled cauldron. There was a slight puff of steam, and the potion shifted colour slightly; it was now a darker purple. Lily frowned at it, and lifted her wand.

Severus, however, was thinking instantaneously of the ingredients used in the potion; the order Lily had probably put them into the cauldron in; the amount of time she would have stirred following the addition of the last two ingredients, if she were following her intuition, and not the text; the affects of armadillo bile on ground mandrake; and he realised –

"Evans! Don't smell the–"

It was too late. Lily Evans suddenly collapsed onto her chair, her wand hand limp at her side.

Severus let out an aggravated huff of breath. It was nothing serious, he was positive, but she was going to be a bit woozy for hours. When the bile had reacted with the briefly-stewed mandrake, it had created an odour that lolled the smeller into a state likable to one found after the ingestion a good deal of drowsy medication. He figured he should take Lily up to the hospital wing so that she could rest while the effects of smelling the altered potion wore off; she was going to be too tired to go to any more classes today.

Quickly striding across the room, and taking care to hold his nose tightly, Severus vanished the potion in her cauldron. Then he put one arm around Lily and helped her to her feet.

"Shouldn't have smelled that," she mumbled, her eyes half closed.

Severus smiled. "Quiet, Lily." He called her Lily, not Evans, because nobody was here and she was so out of it she probably wouldn't remember anyway.

She smiled back at him lazily. "I feel soooooo groggy," she admitted, hoisting herself higher by pulling on his arm.

Severus shook his head slightly. "As well you should. You should have known better than to smell that potion, Lily; I'm surprised at you!"

She laughed dully. "Oh, ha ha, Severus. Not like I can do anything about it now... just take me up to the hospital wing, will you? I want to slee-ee-eep!" An enormous yawn nearly split her face in two. He noticed that she had called him Severus, not Snape.

_She must be really out of it_, he mused, smiling bitterly to himself.

She wrapped her arms around his neck to get to her feet. Then she collapsed against his shoulder, closing her eyes.

Severus could feel himself tingling. She smelled like roses and tea and something he couldn't name. Her long auburn hair was clipped into a half-ponytail, and without really thinking about it he put his arms around her and held her there, comfortably against him.

Lily breathed in deeply. "Your hair…" she murmured.

Severus grimaced. "What about it?" He had just washed his hair that morning, and he didn't think it had gotten too greasy yet –

"It smells really nice," Lily admitted, sniffing it again. She sniffed up over his ear and then toward the top of his head, straining on tiptoes.

Now Severus laughed. "Why, thank you, Lily."

She smiled, and leaned away from him, her arms still around his neck, so that they were staring at one another. "I'm going to regret all this tomorrow." She winced slightly. "Did that sound mean? I can't tell anymore." She groaned. "_Why _did I smell that stuff? I know I'm out of it, but I just can't help it. And you knew it was bad, didn't you Severus? You're so smart, Severus, did you know that? You're probably smarter than _I_ am, even… you're so smart…" She closed her eyes in self-aggravation. "I'm rambling on and on, aren't I? I'm sorry, I just can't stop talking… ugh, I hate feeling like this…"

Her eyes were still closed, and before he could really think about it, Severus leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. It only lasted for one brief instant; then he pulled away.

Lily opened her eyes in shock. "Did you just… did you…" She blinked slowly, and shook her head as if to clear it. "I mean… Severus, you don't _like_ me, do you?"

He shrugged, and couldn't help but smile slightly. "Well, I don't _dis_like you," he admitted calmly.

She frowned. "But you're always so mean to me… and I wouldn't even be talking to you if I hadn't smelled that potion… I know what I'm doing, Severus, I know what I'm doing; I just can't help myself… but you do like me, Severus, don't you?" She smiled slightly to herself.

She took her hands off of his neck, finally seeming to realise that they had been there. He dropped his arms at once. Lily took a step away from him, looking very, very exhausted. "Look, can you just… just help me up to the hospital wing?" she asked.

He nodded. "Of course."

And he did. Lily never spoke to him of the incident again, but Severus would catch her watching him in class sometimes, and he knew in his heart that she, like him, would always remembered that one stolen kiss.

-

In his seventh year, Severus lost her.

He first realised what had happened when James Potter and Lily Evans entered the Great Hall together, he looking ecstatic and she blushing slightly.

_No_, Severus thought desperately, _no, they can't be –_

But they were. By the end of lunch the news was all over the Great Hall: Lily Evans had said yes to James Potter. Severus never quite tracked down the details (it wasn't a major topic of discussion in the Slytherin common room), but from what he later heard, Lily had realised that Potter was really "much more mature" than he had been at a younger age, and that he was really "a great guy," and a whole load of other tosh that Severus knew was complete bullshit.

Apparently, Potter had (presumably on the advise of one of Lily's friends) "left her alone" for a week, and simultaneously made a point of not being as obnoxious as usual (indeed, he had only jinxed Severus three times since Monday). Then, when the anonymous friend informed him that now was as good a time as any to give it another try, he went up to Lily and suavely asked her, for what was perhaps the ten thousandth time, if she would go out with him.

Lily had said yes.

Severus was devastated. He watched Potter and Lily, both looking happier than he had ever seen them before, and his hatred of Potter escalated.

_There was nothing to hold him back now_, he thought idly. All these past months the sole reason why he had not confirmed whether or not he wished to join Voldemort had been her. Now, however, Severus knew in his heart that Lily and Potter were going to be together for some time, and that he therefore no longer had any shot at her. After all, if she would go for James Potter, he reasoned, she would most certainly not go for him, Potter's near opposite.

This meant that Lily was lost, now and forever, and though Severus could lust after her all he wanted, he knew that any future they might have had, any relationship that could have sprung from that gentle kiss in sixth year, was never going to manifest itself.

He decided to join the Dark Lord. He could compromise his beliefs; he had nothing left to hold him back.

-

When he was twenty-three, Severus condemned her.

He overheard a prophecy told to Dumbledore by Sibyll Trelawney one stormy night, a prophesy telling of a boy who would vanquish the Dark Lord.

"Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…"

And Severus took these words to his master with a clear conscience, for he did not want to imagine his pitiful life without the ego boost that being a powerful Death Eater had given him.

It was a week or two later that Severus realised that the prophesy could easily refer to the Potters, for he had heard that Lily was pregnant, and he knew that she and that damn James had defied the Dark Lord three times. That very evening, the Dark Lord confirmed his suspicions.

"The Potters… it will be the Potters…" Voldemort muttered. Then he smiled silkily. "Severus, you have done well to bring me this information."

Severus, however, felt his heart drop slightly. He instinctively blocked the Dark Lord from entering his mind; he did not normally do this but he did not want Voldemort discovering the details of his past romantic aspirations.

"Master, will they all be killed?" he asked quietly.

Voldemort seemed to ponder for a moment. "No, the woman is no threat to me… it is only the father and the boy… the woman will not be harmed."

And Severus breathed again. In fact, now that he thought about it, this was a near-perfect turn of events! That damn James Potter would get what had been coming to him since the age of eleven; his son would be out of the way; and Lily Evans Potter would be… emotionally devastated.

Severus frowned. He did not want Lily to be hurt, but it really was necessary. He paused in thought. Perhaps he could convince her to join the Dark Side, to join those who had murdered her family… but no, that was absurd. Then again, perhaps _he_ could join the Light Side, become a spy for Voldemort… he could be with Lily then, surely… and perhaps he would even double-cross Voldemort and start working for Dumbledore. After all, he knew he had the power: he had never revealed to anybody his skill at occlumency and legilimency, but they nearly exceeded the Dark Lord's own. Surely he could get away with being a spy?

He would do it. But he would not spy against Voldemort; he would spy against Dumbledore, because while James Potter still lived he refused to join his side of the war. And so he went to Dumbledore, who of course knew that the Potters, who had just had a son, Harry, were being traced by Lord Voldemort, and offered up his services.

Dumbledore tried to discern Severus's true intentions twice, but he could not manage it, and before he could try a third time Severus pretended to lament over how he had condemned the Potters.

Dumbledore, the old fool, was tricked.

But just under one year later, something happened that made Severus completely reverse his position. When Voldemort was destroyed, he was not terribly distraught; he was under Dumbledore's protection, after all, and all he had to do was double-cross Voldemort's old supporters and become loyal to Dumbledore. This was even simpler than it would have been to do, however, because, to Severus's utter sorrow, Lily Evans Potter had been killed in the attack.

He could not believe it. After all Voldemort had said, after all Severus had seen in his mind, he had killed Lily. And this was why Severus was truly accepted by Dumbledore: because he spun an honest tale of remorse on the night the Potters died, never mentioning that it was Lily, and not her husband and son, for whom he grieved.

Soon, however, he had grown indifferent to the past, had shut it away as a long-dead part of his life. He no longer had love; he no longer had overwhelming power. He was just a lonely professor working to teach ignorant children the art of potion brewery.

-

When he was thirty-three, Severus missed her.

As he looked at Harry Potter, now eleven years old and beginning his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he felt that old envy and hatred of James Potter re-manifest itself. For one thing, Harry looked remarkably like his arsehole of a father.

In addition, Severus had never repaid Potter for that life-saving shit back in fifth year. He still loathed being indebt to somebody he hated, and he knew that the best way to escape the constant pressure was to save the life of this scrawny James Potter look-alike. So that was what he did.

But over that year of saving young Harry Potter from the insane Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, who turned out, as Severus had long suspected, to have Lord Voldemort coming out of the back of his head, Severus realised that having Harry Potter around only emphasised his desire for Lily. For starters, Harry Potter might not of been such a rule-breaking prat had his mother survived to raise him properly.

But more important than this was that seeing the product of Lily Evans Potter's womb made Severus regret more than ever that which he had lost. For really, if all had gone as he had long ago dreamt, if he had followed up on that one stolen kiss, Harry should have been his son. But no, that damn James Potter had ruined Severus's life, had taken both his dignity and his one true love.

For the first time since that night when she had been killed, Severus Snape missed Lily Evans with all his heart.

_Finis_

* * *

I hope you liked the story! I sure had fun writing it during those rainy Asturian days! Please review; I'd love to hear your final thoughts... 

P.S. I'm now working on another story (we get _lots_ of rainy days in Asturias; I had to do _something!_). Like this one, I'm thinking I'll finish all of it first and then post it, because I hate it when people abandon stories and never update. My new story doesn't have a name yet, but it's about Harry learning about his parents through the Pensieve of a reluctant "old friend" of theirs. And of course, he ends up learning way more than he could ever have imagined, including how his parents got together, etc., etc. Fun, eh? Keep your eye out for it!

xoxo,

Dixie


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